wat are damned dark days... hmmmm, well u can call them sucker days

the days wen u feel like a utter LOSER...damn confused and frustrated n irritated n hysterical n lost n sad probably. it could probably be

the day u get sacked from your job

or the day u catch ur girlfriend cheating on you

or the day u get ur fail marksheet

or well pretty anyday like today is for me

A random day.

-after being at home for a month.

-after a week of absolutely muteness in your cell cos noone has callled u,cos u had ignored everyone the week before

-wen u have been listening wat to do wat not to do continously for a month

-wen u have been questioned about every god damned thing u do

- wen u realise that even wen the hunk of the town proposes u, u cant accept it cos u still cant forget ur ex who is not even mister decent looks

- wen people around u think ur their fucking lifeline

- wen u cant even show ur temper or speak ur mind...cos u cant hurt ur old dad who has sacrificed everythin in lyf for u

- wen ur mom takes a special effort to cook ur favourite mushroom in her favourite eloborate recipe which spoils the taste of it n expects u to kiss her for it

- wen ur bro has a sole mission in lyf to be pain in ur ass

- wen ur best friend is online n his status is idle so u cant even bitch abt ur fucked up lyf

- wen u dun want to take a job in ur sector, wen u were the one who battled to study the course against everyone's wish

- wen u dun even know wat to do next cos ur already in ur final year

- wen ur parents are choosin the best guy for ur weddin n u think he is so geeky

THATS MA DAMNED DARK DAY- TODAY

nuthing hurts

nuthings aches

nuthing pains

the feeling are dead

n i dun feel at all

morn n nites r jus the same

it jus passes by

i dun see the lightning

i dun hear the thunders

i neither can see beauty

nor can i hear music

its all a trance

i jus walk in haze

nuthin matter

not anymore

not any longer

p.s. its not wat i waana writ..i dun feel lik wrtin ny shit. cant even think cant even feel. i duno wat iwan i dun care

been thru the barren lands

been thru the floods

had let it destroy

had been destroyed

seen it all washed away

jus the broken remains

of the dream

scattered along in randoms

i bleed when i walk thru them

it hurts n it feel it

in ma heart

jus i walk along

i pick them up

i hold them

it cuts ma palm

i let it go

yet i bleed for long

i walk thru

i walk far enuf

i neither wait

i neither look bak

i am walkin

still walking....

to nowhere

wat do i want

why an i so sad

what is it wil make me happy

what wil make me sleep without tears

what wil giv me bak ma smiles

where are the colours of ma life

why am i all alone

why am so confused

why dont i want anythin

what do i want

what do i miss

where is ma hope

why am i so dejected

what am i disapponited wid

why cant i try anymore

why dont i know

why??????????????????????????

i am so tired, tired of asking questions to me. tired of being questioned.tired or searching. tired of losing. tired of hate. tired of sadness, tired of pain. tired of living

how much i try i aint going anywhere

watever i do doesn make me happy

i dun even know what wil make me happy

i dun even think i want to be happy

i jus am soo NUMB wid pains

it doesnt hurt

it doesnt anymore

not beyond a certain point

i hav lost it all........................

i see u walkin away

reachin the end of the lane

u dun look bak

yet u know i am looking

i have no tears

ma eyes are dry

i dun feel the lump in ma throat

my heart doesnt ache

i stand still for a long long time

i dun think of the past or the future

i think of nuthin at all.

i wudnt go away,

not cos i cant

but i wont

i dun want the past

i dun hope for a future

its now that matters....

the now ...

the now that i choose...

to end it all.....

the pain n the joy

the hurt n the happiness

the agony n the ecstasy

for i had u...n i will have u

but now i dun........

n its now i choose...to live for now n never again...........

love

to me, love is not about being wid u.its not about living for u. its not about caring for you. its not about helping you. its not about making you strong. its not about helping u change. its not about all those definitions . its not the poetry. its not about the memorable moments wid u. i not about changing for u. its not about sacrificing for u. its not wat u make me. its not about how i feel without u. its not about me wantin u. its not about needing you.

Love is in jus loving...!!!!!!!

i love you

without the "forever"s n "always"

i love you

without the "hugs" and "kisses"

i love you

without the "reason"s and passion"s

i love you

with "love and only love"

ps...i din wanna writ abt lowe...i din eva wanna think abt lov again...yet i wante to writ today...for its valentine day..n i m feelin LOWeee...HAHAHH

dear

...............................................................................................................................................

.....................................................

...............................................................................

wit love

me

p.s i dun think we need words...the silence speaks more...

to sit by urself all day long

to have nuthin to finish

to have noone to talk

to read to let hours pass

to eat alone within the darkened walls

to scribble meaningless words

to paints abstracts

to hide behind the curtain

to not look out n far

to stare at the stars blankly

to have nowhere to go

to have nuthin to think

to have no repent of the past

to have no hope of future

to let the present pass by

THAT WAT IT IS

TO FEEL empty...................

do u know how it feels to be confused

how it feel s to be insecure

how it feels to be lonely

how it feels to be lost

how it feels to be uncared

how it feels to be rite yet failing

how it feels to be rejected

how it feels to be frustrated

how it feels to exist

how it feels when u see mediocre truimp over betters

how it feels to live wid unjustice

how it feels to let u be defeated

how it feels to be muted

how it feels to be ignored

how it feels being urself

how it feels to choose being survive n living

HOW IT FEELS TO FEEL ALL OF DIS........

it wud hurt to live without u

it wud kill me from inside to think of u wid sumone else

but i feel a thousand stabs when i have u beside me n yet ur not being mine

wud i choose to bid u gudbye now....or shud i wait to let fate part us

its destiny that i cant be wid u....

but wud it hurt more now or later??????

its raw hate that i feel when u dun care for me

i hate the way when all this doesnt matter to u

ur so fuckin damned cold

i cant read ur eyes

nor see behind ur masks

i hate to see u so strong

i hate to cry in front of u

its hurts to know u wud be gone

n it hurts more to know u wudnt mind going away

i wud be strong

for i wudnt let u win

b4 u cud walk outta ma door

b4 u cud stomp ma heart

b4 u cud see ma tears

i wud go

i wud bid u adieu

when i go

i dun know

wat i wud do?????????????????/

yet i go..............

for atleast i win

the battle within................

ps...i cant write i cant think i m fuckin turnin mad i hate maself i hate hin i hate noone i want to live i want to die i want it all i want nuthing.......fuck him fuck em alll............fuck offf